180109

Hard for me to find the right-person. Maybe I have some special reasons. I try to get better person than my self. But it doesn`t mean-almost them that I ever seen didn`t has an attractive side which make me really want to be near their side for several times. I`m not sure that I was included of the kinda girl who had a high sense when chose the right type of man-so they get difficult or tend confused. In fact, until today, I submit that I never experience which named-going steady. The last I remember that I get close enough with somebody, I can`t categorize it. And it has a bad ending. I`m disappointed with all the moment I know him. I think I`m regret cuz I give him an opportunity to know me more than all my friends. I keep promise with my self not to did it over-anymore. U know, even to answer his called-it feel so revolted. Even though, I don`t know. Maybe he just wants to call me like usually. But I have made unspeakabled image in my head about him. It would never changed.

Sometimes I feel that I need someone to shared my story with him. I have girl friends enough, but however, it will be different if u have a boy friend. Not a boyfriend-a special one. A boy, was more excpected than girl friend-actually. They more understand how do u feel than if u talk with ur girl friends. They won`t talk more cuz they are a good-listener. And certainly, they could kept the secret even without u.

Fortunately, I didn`t really needed for him nowadays. I still-can do everything I want with my self and didn`t feel lonelyness. I get right. I enjoy with my days and anything I had. Although-I don`t know when I can meet someone who cares about me as him. Whatever,.. his friend, his family. or more than I have to know. I wish that I can get a best man to shared my life with. A man I saw him firstly when I wake up in the morning. A man I can give all my things. A man for warm hug and comfort home. A man that I and him gonna have many children and spend our time till the end.

I believe God will send him special for me. I will never waste him.

Amin.